Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
