Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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