remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
