Fuck appropriateness.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
