Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He shit in the fireplace
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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