He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
