Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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