I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
