wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
