so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
