I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
