We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
