yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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