well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
whose parrot is this?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
