Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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