the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
