I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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