THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
