So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize