He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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