when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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