Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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