I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
