I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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