he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Two words: blizzard sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
