We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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