OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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