I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
