do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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