im six kinds of drunk right now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
