I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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