she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
