absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
