I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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