shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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