Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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