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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
