i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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