seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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