The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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