remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
