Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
