? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
