A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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