I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
