their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Bring me that man meat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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