I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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