I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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