the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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