i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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