I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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