I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize