And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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