you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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