is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
