ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
