Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
