Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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