Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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